The study of temporal turbulence in the gastrointestinal tract has long been shrouded in mystery, with many experts dismissing it as mere science fiction. However, after months of grueling research and several trips to the loo, our team of esteemed researchers is proud to present their groundbreaking findings.

In a bold move, we set out to investigate the sonic resonance frequency of human stomachs using advanced audio equipment and a healthy dose of skepticism. Our hypothesis was that the rumbling, gurgling sounds emanating from the depths of one's belly might hold the key to understanding interdimensional portal stability.

To gather our data, we recruited 100 willing participants (all of whom were subsequently compensated for their time with a substantial amount of money and a few decent biscuits) who were then subjected to a series of grueling tests designed to stimulate maximal gastric activity. These included, but were not limited to, eating an entire pizza by oneself, watching an epic battle scene from a popular blockbuster, and performing the chicken dance in front of a mirror.

Using specialized equipment, we measured the frequency and amplitude of these sonic events, which we dubbed Gastrointestinal Turbulence Waves (GTW for short). To our surprise, the results showed that GTWs exhibited a statistically significant correlation with interdimensional portal stability, with frequencies ranging from 27.5 Hz to 41.2 Hz.

But what does this mean, you ask? Simply put, it appears that the rumbling of your stomach is not just a result of indigestion or a dodgy burrito – it's actually a subtle echo of parallel universes colliding with our own. The implications are profound: by tuning into the GTW frequency, we may be able to stabilize interdimensional portals and facilitate faster-than-light travel.

Of course, there are many questions still unanswered. For instance, how does one go about stabilizing an interdimensional portal using only a toaster and a packet of sugar? Or what exactly is the role of the chicken dance in all this?

Despite these mysteries, our research has shed new light on a previously unexplored area of physics, and we're thrilled to have made such a groundbreaking discovery. And if you'll excuse us, we need to go eat some pizza and watch an epic battle scene – our stomachs are screaming at us for it.

Next steps will include further investigation into the role of GTW in interdimensional portal stability, as well as development of practical applications for this technology. In the meantime, we invite you to join us on this wild ride, as we explore the uncharted territories of temporal turbulence and sonic resonance. Buckle up, folks – it's going to be a bumpy ride.